Mr Gabriel Goes to Heaven

The first installment in the 20 Minute Play series, as previously stated, this play was written in 20 minutes. No more, no less. For more 20 Minute Plays head over to Yannick’s site, or keep looking here

 

SCENE ONE: ‘The Bus Stop’

[PETER GABRIEL and his guitarist DAVID RHODES are standing at a bus stop. DAVID has his guitar slung over his shoulder.]

PETER: David, do you think anyone actually listens to my music?

[DAVID thinks briefly]

DAVID: Probably not, no. Oh, there was that one, with the fruit.

PETER: Oh yeah, that was pretty good.

DAVID: Yeah…and that one when the clay bumper cars tried to kill you.

PETER: I think that was the same song…

[PETER looks down the road]

PETER: Oh, the bus is coming. Quickly David, get our tickets out!

[DAVID scrambles madly in his guitar case.]

DAVID: I CAN’T FIND THEM!!!!!

PETER: What? WHAT?

[LFX][Red spotlights splash around the stage]

SONG: ‘Where are the Tickets?’

{Low, foreboding synth guitar rhythm}

PETER [distorted]: David, where are the tickets? Oh, you’ve really dicked it. I could never really have picked it, oh what are we going to doooooooo?

[DAVID responds with guitar licks. Approaching bus runs off the road and over  PETER and DAVID.]

PETER: Ah, fu- [dies]

BUS DRIVER: Oh no! I just killed Phil Collins! [starts to cry]

PASSENGER: No, that was Peter Gabriel.

BUS DRIVER: [laughs] Oh, never mind.

 

SCENE TWO: ‘Fork in the Road’

 

[PETER and DAVID wake up CS, in a bare room. Faintly moving white light covers the entire stage.]

PETER: Oh dear, I do believe we’re dead David.

DAVID: I grieve, Pete, I grieve…

PETER: Hey! No ironic and comedic references to my songs’ names.

DAVID: Sorry…

[They both get up. As they do, IAN DURY descend from the above, on wires.]

PETER: Oh, hello Ian.

IAN: Fair deuce, eh Petey? An’ ‘oo’s this scrawny baldie ya brou’ with ya?

PETER: Oh, this is David Rhodes, my guitarist.

[IAN looks at clipboard]

IAN: Oh, yeah, I see ‘im now.

DAVID: So what are you doing here, Mr Dury?

IAN: Well mate, I’m the ‘umorously endowed musical-rela’ed substitute fa Saint Peter, righ’.

PETER: [laughs] Well, I’m no saint Ian.

IAN: Oh, shut up ya vegetarian wanker. Poin’ of matta is that Pete’s gonna to heaven, and Davie’s gonna hell.

[PETER begins to ascend on wires, DAVID recedes into pits of flames, as saxaphones scream out at him.]

PETER: [laughs] That’s what you get for starting Sledgehammer in the wrong key 17 years ago!

 

THE END

~ by Dan on April 15, 2008.